Golf, it has been said, ruins the disposition, hurts the eyes, blisters the hands, ties kinks in the nervous system, debauches the morals, drives men to drink or homicide, breaks up the family, turns the ductless glands into internal warts, induces progressive mendacity and a few other things besides.

Peter Alliss disagrees with nine of these. He also finds the game's potential for hilarious mischance one of its most endearing qualities. In Bedside Golf he presents his evidence.